I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Randomize
