tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
