She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
