I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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