Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's blow job season.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
