so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
