wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
