I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
