I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
