what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
