If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
