win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
