If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
