Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
