And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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