I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So squirting runs in the family.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
