you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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