did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
