I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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