I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
