ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
