wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
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