Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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