no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
