Only a mothe r could love this liver
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
