Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize