take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
