I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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