Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
