Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
