i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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