why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
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I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize