He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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