He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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