I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
it glows. i had to have it.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I need water and some morals
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
