My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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