Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
