I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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