sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
