then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
