i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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