It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
