i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
