Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
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Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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