walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
