an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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