have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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