addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
if only i could text you this smell
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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