You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
