We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
