She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
