Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Randomize
