wat bout pragnant strippers??
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
