zippers are such a cool invention
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
How's work?
Spinning.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
