I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
