Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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