He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
