Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
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just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
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Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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