So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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