i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize