It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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