This girl is more easily done than said...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
