it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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