I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
