apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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